ST. CROIX INSIGHTS
Growing Apart from Your Spouse
BY BRETT ANDERSON/ST.CROIX ADVISORS, LLC
It seems like such a common story these days. You’ve poured your focus into raising kids for 20, maybe 25, years, and, suddenly, you turn around and realize the house is empty. Not just that, but now you’re drifting apart from your spouse.
I suspect this is why divorce rates today are so high. Couples become so accustomed to the family dynamic that once the kids leave, what begins as “empty nest syndrome” can subtly morph into indifference, even alienation.
In my line of work, it’s easy to spot when couples start growing apart. Even if they acknowledge it themselves, it takes real work to strengthen a dwindling connection. If you find yourself growing apart from your spouse, don’t despair. There are a few things you can do to rekindle the spark. Love, mutual affection, and, yes, even romance, can be rekindled. You and your spouse can live the life you always used to imagine living together after the kids were gone.
Put in the Time
When was the last time you checked in with your spouse with a genuine offer to listen? When you offer a supportive hug and an open ear, do you follow through with that promise, or does your attention wander? Sometimes, what can seem like growing apart from your spouse is really just a lack of regular communication.
Start by scheduling time to focus deeply on the person you married. It does more than remind them you’re a fixture in the home. It gives you an opportunity to meditate on the greatest blessing in your life.
Go on an Adventure Together
After living for the little ones for so long and making so many personal sacrifices, the desire to live for ourselves is understandable. Just remember, this is also your opportunity to recommit to living for each other.
Whether it’s taking up sailing, relocating to your ideal climate, or embarking on the vacation of a lifetime, schedule something that’s just for the two of you.
If you think you might be growing apart from your spouse, revisiting your long-term financial plans and planning a new adventure might be just the thing to reinvigorate your relationship.
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