ST. CROIX INSIGHTS

Marry Right the First Time

BY BRETT ANDERSON/ST.CROIX ADVISORS, LLC

Photo by Samantha Gades

Choosing the perfect life partner isn’t easy. When you first start dating, you’re constantly placing your best foot forward: you wear your Sunday-best underwear every day of the week, and you’d never think about farting in front of each other. During courtship, whether they intend to or not, no one represents themselves genuinely and accurately to the other person.

It’s not until months or years later that our real personalities come out, including our likes and dislikes. “Till death do you part” can be a very long time, especially if you’re spending it with the wrong person; if your values don’t link up with your partner’s, keep searching until you find the right one.

Here’s a sample list of values it’s important to share with your spouse if you want to marry right.

    Both of you enjoy the same foods. If they don’t like pizza, move on.

  • You have similar financial values. If they are a spender rather than a saver, move on (and if you are the spender, change your own habits before dating or marrying anyone).
  • Both of you should be believers.
  • Your partner should make you want to be a better person. If they don’t, move on.

Your list might be a little different or include extra items, and that’s fine. (After all, I’m not the one you’re marrying!) The important thing, if you want to marry right, is that your values align with those of your spouse—and that you understand each other’s values before tying the knot.

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